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Author Topic: joke of the day  (Read 43496 times)

Offline Cutting Edge Saw Svc.

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #100 on: December 07, 2017, 06:53:42 PM »


" I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.

‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked.

Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.

‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked.

I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her.

She fainted.”


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Offline Ox

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #101 on: December 08, 2017, 08:33:18 AM »
Heh.  Good one!  >:D
K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple Stupid
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without
1989 GMC 3500 4x4 diesel dump and plow truck, 1964 Oliver 1600 Industrial with Parsons loader and backhoe, 1986 Zetor 5211, Cat's Claw sharpener, single tooth setter, homemade Linn Lumber 1900 style mill, old tools

Offline terracefarmer

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #102 on: February 03, 2019, 05:31:51 PM »
In a recent survey, its been discovered the average male has sex 3-4 times a week, with the exception of Eskimo's who are lucky to have it twice a year.   

This came as a very disturbing discovery since I never knew I was an Eskimo.

Offline terracefarmer

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #103 on: February 03, 2019, 05:39:45 PM »
No sex after surgery.   

A recent article in the San Francisco examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi sued Stanford Hospital stating that after surgery, "her husband lost all interest in sex".      The hospital spokesman reported, "we admitted your husband for cataract surgery and all we did was correct his eyesight".

Offline terracefarmer

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #104 on: February 03, 2019, 05:49:56 PM »
Senior Citizen's logic

I rode my bicycle to the liquor store and bought a bottle of Jack Danial's, upon leaving the store I put it in my bicycle rack but realized the bottle was made of glass.    Thinking this might be a problem because if I fell over on the way home, I might break the bottle, completely wasting both my time and money, so after some thought, I decided to drink the bottle Before going home.     Turns out I made the right decision, I fell over 7 times on my way home.   

Offline terracefarmer

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #105 on: February 08, 2019, 03:32:16 AM »
Tide pod challenge

Eliminating those that should have been stains in the first place.

Offline Ox

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Re: joke of the day
« Reply #106 on: February 08, 2019, 09:14:17 AM »
 :laugh:
K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple Stupid
Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without
1989 GMC 3500 4x4 diesel dump and plow truck, 1964 Oliver 1600 Industrial with Parsons loader and backhoe, 1986 Zetor 5211, Cat's Claw sharpener, single tooth setter, homemade Linn Lumber 1900 style mill, old tools